My Grandfather

So much has happened since my last entry and this time I’m not writing about whats going on in my life, I’m hitting a subject that most people in the world can relate to…CANCER.

My Grandfather, who lives with us got diagnosed with a Malignant Brain Tumor called a Glioblastoma . Its not only been a COMPLETE SHOCK to all of us but, it has been extremely hard to accept the fact that he had been a very healthy 79yr old Man who now might not have much time left with his family.  This type of tumor he has not only grows within months, but the survival rate even with surgery is not good. The worst is, if you knew or know my Grandfather..well there are no words…he is the most amazing person I think I’ve ever known, he has such a good heart and a love life and his family. He Has never said a bad thing in his life about anyone. Has never raised his voice at his wife nor family. I’ve only ever seen my Grandfather angry once, when my Grandmother got sick; he questioned everything in his life. 

Everyone I know loves him. Even the places that he goes out to eat at during the week he is a popular man. They have sent cards and have called my Mom hoping to see him again soon in their restaurant.  Our phone was ringing off the hook so bad everyday with phone calls to see how he is, that it got to the point that my Mom had to ask my Dad and extended family to help return all the calls that we were getting.  My parents, as some of you know who are in this stage of your life, they now are taking care of their parents. However, My Mom never imagined nor did we that she might now loose another parent so soon again.

The thing that has made this whole entire family angry over this is not only is he a GOOD MAN, but he has just suffered a very hard 3-5 years watching his wife die of Dementia Altzheimers, and many years of her being severely ill since she was in her late 20’s with many other things. My Grandmother lived her entire life in pain, although if you knew her, you’d never know it. I have never seen anyone love someone unconditionally as much as my Grandfather loved her. They had an indescribable love even in their late years. One that you don’t see often in this day and age! Over 5o years of marriage..I’ve only been married three years and I can only wonder the pain of his loss. Even when as sick as she was with her Dementia, he took care of her night and day, bathing her, dressing her, feeding her, along with the help of us at times. Of course refusing to put her in a home.  Since I was a little girl I always wanted that type of relationship with a man, and a husband like my Grandfather. luckily by the Grace of God I married that kind of Man. He is my ROCK, MY BESTFRIEND, and I don’t know what I’d do without him. He reminds me in so many way of my Grandfather, which makes me love him even more♥

After many talks with my Grandfather telling me how much he missed my Grandmother, admitting that he lost her a long time ago when she became sick, she wasn’t the same Shirley. He has longed for that Companionship in his life since she passed. He always felt guilty for feeling that way, but we told him there is nothing wrong with wanting that in our life. Then around June he met or should I say knew an another amazing woman who has captivated his heart. The wife of one of his deceased friend’s Bill who died of cancer three years ago. They used to play baseball back in the day together. They both say its as if my Grandmother and Bill knew they needed eachother. She has been there through this whole family ordeal, sticking by his side. We are so grateful for her and truly believe that my Grandmother sent her to him, to help him through this journey. Unfortunately the time they have together seems short-lived due to this tumor. Which makes all of us so mad since he finally seems HAPPY AGAIN since my Grandmother got sick and passed on. I hadn’t seen him smile in so long…and she’s brought that back into his life. He’s been like a high school boy in love!!

When my Mom got the diagnoses and was told by his doctor that they could do the surgery, but it might only give him 14months, maybe less, or more. It just didn’t seem fair…I honestly don’t know how my Mom is keeping it together. Since he lives with us we all blame ourselves for not seeing signs sooner. He hadn’t been feeling good around July, but the doctors thought he was having mini heart strokes…until he got an MRI and we received the bad news. We were told after his surgery almost two weeks ago that the tumor was the size of a grapefruit. They had gotten most of it out and he seemed to be responding well, until we received a call from my Dad and his girlfriend that ‘Someone’ had moved him out of ICU without speaking to my Mom and he tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and fell!! A nurse left his side for at least 20mins or so knowing that he had to have supervised care. I mean this man just had brain surgery a week ago!! Plus Anesthesia stays in your body for at least a week or so.

When we got the call my mom looked pale as a ghost. Not only did he fall on his head but broke his nose as well and was laying there apparently unconscious for over 15mins!! How does this happen at a City Hospital in Philadelphia, where you think your getting the proper care he needs??!! The nurse was suspended for a day..big whoop and no apology from anyone at that time. My Dad said he looked so bad from the fall when they came into his room, dry blood still on him and his face puffed up and his left Eye Black and Blue and swollen shut from the fall. He told us he doesn’t even remember what happened to him. When I saw the pictures my dad took with his phone I got so emotional, I had to put it down. I didn’t even recognize my own grandfathers face it was so bad!! It was HEARTBREAKING..My Dad and his Girlfriend were so sick to their stomach by the time they got home from the hospital. My Mom on the other hand in disbelief that this could of happened, knowing that this will fully set him back. He was to undergo therapy at a center a week ago near by, but now his condition has gotten worse.  The worst of it is no one knew who ordered him to be transferred out of ICU, and my Mom after three messages to the doctor that night no one calling back to even apologize and fix the situation. We are told that the fall may have set him back due to his strength and recovery time.  I just can’t imagine a 79yr old man enduring such a thing. Surgery is bad enough, but now this! 

The best way I’ve tried to think of out of this whole situation is I have been so blessed to have such wonderful Grandparents who lived here for over 10 yrs. Thats something I’ll never forget, the memories are sacred, and I have to believe everything happens for a reason even when its not they way I or my family would want it to. I just pray that he will recover from the pain he is enduring and that my family, especially my Mom can get through this hard time in her life.

 

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